The Straight Poop

This is Murphy.

Miss Murphy has a bit of a reputation as being an instigator. She likes to take control of situations, especially ones where I might end up taking the heat. I will neither confirm nor deny the possibility that I may or may not have been caught on any alleged traffic camera, but the possible presence of an alleged dog that may or may not look eerily like Murphy poised in the front seat seeming to egg the driver on has been noted.

Murphy suffers from a life-long condition known as EPI, or exocrine pancreatic insufficiency, which is an inability to produce sufficient quantities of the enzymes used in the digestive process. These enzymes serve to break food down to elements that can be absorbed by the digestive tract. Without sufficient quantities of the enzymes, longer chain molecules such as the fats found in meat, pass right through. The treatment is to mix ground up porcine pancreas in with the dog’s food each and every meal.

Even with the additive, and using low fat dog kibble, Murphy’s excretia is, shall we say, somewhat loose. And there’s usually a lot of it. It smells really foul.

Getting that trivia behind us, let’s progress to the next bit of information: Murphy, as with many dogs and cats, has the instinct to cover her spoor. After she eliminates waste, she’s prone to exuberantly kick her back paws, scraping up earth and sod as she goes, flinging it, presumably over the pile she had just created.

And now, on to my tale of woe. Walkies this morning. I have the dogs on 16′ retractable leads, which I let loose when we get to the park. Murphy pulled off to one side at the full 16 foot length and hunched up her hindquarters in that “I gotta go” stance dogs adopt. Her fellow pack member Teegan was also extended out the full 16′ to the other side and she, too, at exactly that moment, decided it was a good time for the ol’ morning poop.
I stood between them, arms outstretched like a bizarre redheaded Jesus.

I could not really move.

MurphNoseTeegan was still doing her business when Murphy completed hers. Murphy did not seem to be doing this deliberately; she just happened to have her back to where I was standing as she started her kick.

I could not move. Did I mention that?

Walkies were cut a bit short this morning.

I have had two showers.