Oatmeal Adventures and Doggy Drama

My twenty-plus year old Sharp Carousel II combination convection and microwave oven finally burnt out. It served us well, over the years and it took me quite a bit of research to locate a replacement that had the features we had come to know and love, and was reasonably intuitive to use. The new microwave — a Panasonic — has a “delayed start” feature.

I was in a hurry to get to the office, decided I would have instant oatmeal this morning and so I checked the manual on using the delayed start feature. (By now, little warning bells should be sounding in your head).

  1. Key in the time for delay. Example, to delay start for 5 minutes, key in 5 0 0
  2. Select power setting for cooking. Example, to cook at power level 6, press the Power Level button 5 times
  3. Key in the cook time. Example, to cook food for 10 minutes, key in 1 0 0 0
  4. Press “Start”

The timer will count down, the manual said, then the cooking will commence for the selected amount of time at the selected power level.

  • I keyed in a delay time of 30 minutes: 3 0 0 0
  • I keyed in a power setting of 8: Power Power Power
  • I keyed in a cook time of 65 seconds: 6 5
  • I pressed “Start”

I went to shower.

When I got out of the shower, the house smelled like something was burning and the dogs had worried, uncomfortable expressions.

smoking_craterThe blackened mass in the bowl, formerly known as “oatmeal”, was still giving off fumes that had yellowed the interior of the microwave. So much for being in a hurry; I spent a good deal of time wiping down the microwave while the bowl and its super-heated carbon contents crackled as it cooled on a hot pad on the counter. The house reeks.

When I was finally ready to leave for work, the dogs were still wearing worried, uncomfortable expressions and Teegan attempted to dine al fresco. Sadly, her bowl remained inside the house, affording Murphy the opportunity to pwn both bowls of food. When Teegan gave up on attempting to teleport her dish and finally came back in, Murphy let her know that she, Murphy, pwned Teegan’s bowl.

I let Murphy know that I pwn both bowls.

Anyone know if dog spit gets rad-hardened carbon off of ceramic?