New Plan

Lissen up. I just had a disconcerting revelation and I need to make some changes, here.

A friend of mine was talking about “Type A” personalities.

“They’re organized.”

I gulped. I’m organized, but I’m no type A.

“They are morning people.”

I shifted my feet. I am a morning person, but I’m no Type A.

“They’re aggressive.”

Whew! Thank goodness! I’m not aggre….

My friend begged to differ and pointed out how pushy I can be.

Pushy. Me.

I was voted “Least likely to ever utter a word” in high school. My fifth grade teacher — honest to God — wrote on a report back to my parents “Smart, but I would really like it if she would just get up on her desk and shout! She’s too withdrawn!”

Then I did a little heartfelt self examination and discovered that over the years I have indeed had to become aggressive and pushy. I’ve had to rant. I’ve had to make … demands. I’ve had to tell people what I expected of them, and then make “tsk” sounds at them when they didn’t do what I expected.

This is distressing to me, and I expect the entire company to now change in order to help me stop being pushy and aggressive.

Here is my plan:

1. Read my mind
2. Do what I want you to do
3. Tell me you’ve done it.

‘k?